Skip to main content

Having a relationship with CIS-woman as transgender? Impossible right?

 








This one of the questions what was running in to my head twelve years ago when i met my wife. Should i tell her that i am transgender or not? We where dating couple days and everything is going just like in the movies but something was bothering me all the time, i was just thinking that if i tell her will she run a away? It was a Friday we shared a couple drinks at the local bar and i was thinking that i am not able to keep this inside of me anymore, so i tell her and of course she was confused but not shocked like a assumed. After serious of questions she said that it's not a problem and we can continue dating. 

After couple weeks i was thrilled that yes i finally have a partner that accepts me just way i am, but them came the hard part. Where and how start slowly express myself in middle of relationship? I didn't have a clue so i close the cabinet door, it was easier that point and make the decision that i hide my self from my partner.

This decision lead very bad consequences so please don't do this to your self like i did. Half year went really well we fallen love and get engaged we where really happy and all the sudden i was starting to feel depressed and tired. That point i didn't know the reason, i even went to see the doctor and she told me that i do too much work so i have slow down a bit. I did that but my depression got even more badder than before, dark thoughts was creeping inside of my head about doing something horrible to myself. One day when i was almost crashing down i found my make-up bag in cabinet and got myself front of the mirror, i started to apply the make-up and it felt so right and natural. When i was finished i looked myself on the mirror and smiled first time in ages. After this i realized that i can not hide myself for my partner anymore or its gone cost me my mental health. 

Well its easier to say than do it, after this it took me three years and four depressions before i really started to express myself as woman front of my partner. I felt so stupid why i have to be like this? I blamed everybody even god why he made me like this? Why i can not be just a regular guy?  

I had no other choice than let go and be myself, when i make that decision it changed my whole life upside down and my partners life. I started to dress-up as woman during weekends and we had such a fun time with my partner, but after maybe four months everything changed. She turned cold and distant for me and refused to see me dressed as a woman. I was thinking that am i hurt her someway or what is going on? I finally got her in the same table and she started the conversation this way "I don't like that you are spending so much time dressed as woman?¨. What can i say there, than yes i will dress-up less? It didn't even come to my mind ask why she wants that?. There was a reason behind she was scared that more i spend time as a woman, i am starting to like it so much that i want change my gender permanently to female. When i figured this out, i was trying explain to her that i don't want any permanent changes in my body, i just wan't to express myself as female and male.


After conversation i wen't again deeply in the closet and stayed there couple months. Then i make the decision with myself that this is the last time that i go in the closet. So i started to express myself as a woman again and my partner was first saying that she doesn't wan't to see my dressed as a woman anymore, so we agreed that a can do it when she is not at home. I got to admit that it was working quite well but i started to feel lonely, i was dressed up nicely and spend most of time alone at home. Slowly all the sudden my partner noticed how happy i was when i was able to express myself also as a woman and one day she made the proposal that we should have girls night together. It was success that i needed and specially my partner, that one night changed all now i am able to freely express my feminine side in our relationship and we go shopping together. I am so proud of my partner and this has made us stronger together than ever.

So answer to topics question its not impossible to have a relationship as Cis-woman if you are transgender, transvestite or crossdresser. I think most important thing what i learned is that be honest to yourself and your partner. I learned so many things the hard way hopefully you dear reader don't do the same mistakes. Listen to yourself don't other people specially what comes to your gender expression, they probably don't understand what's you are going trough. Learn how to love yourself just the way you are, don't try change anything. I will do a post later about how i learned to love myself.


Feel free to send me questions and leave a comment what did you like about the post! 

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My tips for going public places as transgender

  Going public places as transgender Introduction If you're transgender and have decided to go public, there are a few things to consider. Here are some of the most important things I've learned through my transition: Know when to stay home. Know your limits. Don't go out if you don't feel safe. Don't go out if you're not ready to be seen by others, especially strangers. Avoid going out if you're feeling anxious or depressed (or both). These emotions can make it difficult for us to make decisions about our health and safety, which could lead to an unsafe situation that might result in violence against the transgender person or another person nearby who's also transphobic—like a friend of yours at work who just saw what happened last night at your party and now wants revenge on someone else from their group who made fun of them when they were pretending like unicorns were real people too? That would be awkward! Get an ID in your chosen name and gender. Ge...
Post a Comment
Read more

Tips for coming out for your partner as transgender

  Introduction It's a really big deal to come out as transgender. You're about to tell someone who you thought was your partner that you are in fact, not just attracted to them but also identify as female. It's a huge step and one that can be difficult for anyone faced with this kind of news. Fortunately, there are plenty of resources online that can help relieve some of the pressure and make coming out easier for both parties involved. Here are some tips for making sure this transition goes smoothly: Give yourself time to prepare. The first step to coming out is preparing yourself. There are a lot of things that can go wrong when you decide to share your gender identity with other people, so knowing what to expect and how best to prepare yourself will help ensure that everything goes smoothly. Think about what kind of support you want from your partner and their family. Do they already know? How did they react when they found out? What are their plans for supporting you af...
Post a Comment
Read more

How to be more feminine as transgender

  Introduction Trans people transition because they feel like they need to. There's no denying that being transgender can be difficult, but there are ways to make the experience easier and more fun. One of the most important parts of trans identity is your gender expression, or how you present yourself as a woman or man. This includes everything from how much makeup you wear and what kind of clothes you wear (but not only those things). It can also include how feminine or masculine your voice sounds when talking with people (and whether or not it changes over time). Gender identity and gender expression Gender identity and gender expression are two different things. They’re not the same, but they do have overlapping characteristics. Gender identity refers to who you are inside as a person who identifies with your assigned sex at birth (gender assignment). It is your sense of self-identity in relation to others and how you relate socially and emotionally. This can include assigned m...
Post a Comment
Read more